Marriage in Islam: a guide for Muslim women

Choosing a spouse

Faith and character first. A woman is married for her wealth, family, beauty or religion, and the advice is to choose religion (Sahih al-Bukhari 5090); the same holds when a woman chooses a husband. Ask about prayer, temper, honesty and how he treats his mother. Involve your family, meet in their presence, and pray istikhara before you decide: Istikhara Dua has the words.

Food and water aid reaches families in need, with every pound shown.

Your consent and the wali, for Muslim women

Your yes is asked for. A woman married before is consulted, and a never-married woman’s permission is asked; her silence is her permission (Sahih al-Bukhari 5136). All four schools require the consent of a woman married before, and the Hanafi school that of every adult woman. They differ on the wali: the Hanafi school lets an adult woman contract her own marriage, while the Maliki, Shafi‘i and Hanbali schools require a wali, usually her father. Forcing anyone into marriage is a crime across the UK, and in England and Wales no one under 18 may marry.

The nikah, and a civil marriage

Offer, acceptance, witnesses and mahr. A nikah is an offer and an acceptance before two witnesses, with a mahr agreed for the bride (Quran 4:4). In England and Wales a nikah alone is not usually a legal marriage, so register a civil marriage as well: it protects your rights to the home, maintenance and inheritance if anything goes wrong. Our mahr guide covers prompt and deferred mahr.

Rights in marriage

Each owes the other.

• Kindness: live with them in kindness (Quran 4:19). The best of you are the best to their families (Jami‘ at-Tirmidhi 3895).
• Provision: the husband provides for his wife and children according to his means (Quran 65:7).
• Her wealth: hers alone, and he may not take her mahr back (Quran 4:20).
• Care for women: at the farewell sermon the Prophet ﷺ told men to fear Allah in how they treat women (Sahih Muslim 1218).